A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click

I will get straight to the point:


COMPUTERS CAUSE AMNESIA


Care for me to elaborate? Okay.


I got on my laptop (aka lappy) today after my class. Now, when getting onto the computer I always have clear set intentions for what I want to do once on the computer. BUT once lappy is turned on, I FORGET!! I may be the only one, or maybe it’s due to my horribly crippling ADD, but once that screen lights up… I am a goner.


It’s like that plan of action is a piece of chocolate cake, gone as soon as it is presented in front of me. The only exception being that I do not eat ideas… if that was possible I believe I would be considered a much more intelligent person than I am at this particular moment.


Now here is what happens.
1. I open lappy
2. I pull up google
3. I check facebook
4. I find a cool quote for facebook
5. I check my friends blogs
6. I check my email
7. I check my other email
8. I check the weather
9. I stumble
10. I REALIZE THAT I FORGOT WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DOING IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!


Then I sit thinking for a few minutes about what I was supposed to be doing. Then I give up and watch movies on Logan’s Netflix account.




Now this whole thing just happened to me. And what I am trying to comprehend is why my memory rots away in this situation daily. AND if this memory rotting has been happening multiple times a day since the day I first got lappy… how many brain cells slash memory cells (or whatever) have died in this process of daily rottage?


No wonder this country is full of morons. Prime example:

These stupid idiots.




















Now after blogging this I have realized what my intention was in the first place, to look at courses for next quarter. So before leaving to do that I shall provide you with this warning:


Set a goal before getting on your laptop about what you want to while on the computer. And remember this goal by ANY. MEANS. NECISSARY.


Its okay if you need to write it…..
1. On a post it
2. With alphabet soup
3. Painted on the wall
4. Cut into your friend’s forehead
5. With pixie stix
6. Or even in old chewed up gum


Just remember. Time wasted on the interwebs you can never get back….


With this I leave you with a short quote.


Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks






Oh! And these short videos.


Define the Internet


Twittersphere




P.S. Someone needs to shoot the Twitter bird

Ill-advised Intro

Dear Reader,

I regret to inform you that the blog you are reading is extremely unpleasant.  It consists of scattered, morbid, and unusually rash facts that may or may not be true. From the first sentence to the last quote you will read of misery and woe.  I would suggest that you view another more uplifting blog about photography. But if you must read this then just know, you have been warned.

With all due respect,

Olivia

Fearful Facts

·      Chinese water torture was invented by a 16th century lawyer

·      Over 2500 left handed people are killed each year from using products made for right handed people

·      Dr. Alice Chase, who wrote ‘Nutrition for Health’, died of malnutrition

·      In Erwin, Tennessee an elephant was once hanged for murder

·      About 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens each year

·      The British Society for Psychical Research claims that Athens, Ohio, is one of the most haunted places in the world

·      My freshman year dorm was haunted. A common disturbance was the "marble sound," which often occurs even on the top floor of the building: the sound of someone dropping hundreds of marbles onto the floor above you. 

·      A story with a more concrete basis in fact, freshman dorm Crawford Hall began to experience ghostly phenomena after the Easter 1993 death of Laura, a resident who fell from her fourth-floor window. Lights would flicker and doors would slam or open--especially on the first floor. One night an RA in a first-floor room was awakened at night by the silhouette of a girl who had opened his door. She said, "I'm sorry, I've woken you," and closed the door. The RA went into the hall but there was no one there. He later learned that his room's window faced the spot where Laura hit the sidewalk. CD and tape players there will refuse to play the Bob Marley song "Laura." 

·       The notorious RIDGES!! 

Now to leave you with a few Lemony Snicket quotes:

-People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict

-Often times, when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps.

-It's hard for decent people to stay angry at someone who has burst into tears, which is why it is often a good idea to burst into tears if a decent person is yelling at you.

-Fate is like a strange unpopular restaurant
filled with odd waiters who bring you
things you never asked for and don’t always like

-At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey

The People I Reference

Now I talk about alot of people but here are some of my closest family and friends. Enjoy. 

These are my parents! They are super goofy!
Dad is always there for life advice and for a laugh!
Mom is always there for relationship advice and to be my best girlfriend!

This is my brother Drew! He is hilarious, quick-witted and good at anything athletic.
He is way stronger than me and much better at comebacks.
It's a lose lose situation on my end.

This is my brother Grant! He is super funny, talkative, and amazing at trombone,
He can beat me in almost anything academic wise and especially the French language.
(he helps me with my college homework)

This is my neighbor Grant!
He is one of my oldest slash closest friends and the only one who can put up with me.
He also shot me with a potato cannon which was awesome!!

This is Logan! He is my best friend!!!
He and I do almost everything together. He knows me better than I know myself.
He is super smart, hilarious, and my teacher in the art of zombie killing.

This is Zara! She is one of my best girlfriends. She is an amazing photographer, and great with kids.
She is the one I run to for help and the most caring and patient person I have ever met.
She cracks me up and gives wonderful advice and goes shopping in Newark with me!!

This is Rachel! She is my other best girlfriend!
She is also an amazing photographer and one of the goofiest people  ever.
She is open to anything and is awesome to talk about deep things with.

This is my boyfriend Chris!
He is super outdoorsy and loves to do anything that gives you an adrenaline rush.
He is super goofy, hilarious, and always smiling.
He pushes me to try new things and helps me not fall off cliffs.

This is Erin and Sam! They are my two best girlfriends at school!
They both are so funny its hard to not pee your pants from laughing!
They also keep me grounded in my faith and are always there to put a smile on my face and remind me I'm loved!






All these people have made me who I am today! I love them all because of it and I would not trade them for the world! <3

The Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day

Now, Christmas has just passed. This makes it okay for me to now sarcastically comment on traditions slash Christmas music without being put on Santa’s naughty list (everyone knows that Santa is on vacation for the few weeks after Christmas so you can pretty much do whatever you want without fear of losing presents)


Christmas has many traditions that seem normal when barely thinking about them. But, if you take a closer look at the elements of Christmas, our traditions are very strange and often times incredibly creepy.


Lets start off simple. Santa. Obviously a clear-cut case of breaking and entering. And for some reason everyone is quite all right with a large man breaking into their house, not only do we ignore this fact, but we embrace it. I mean goodness, we feed him and his mode of transportation (or maybe it’s only my family that put out carrots for the flying deer) I don’t know but I feel as though we should not be rewarding this behavior. But this is not as much of an annoyance to me as Christmas music.


I work at a coffee house year round. So immediately on Thanksgiving that horrid music is turned on. Not only is it around the house, but in the car, in stores, and even in the musical seasonal decorations that are put out.


Now this music is not normal music that is tolerable. It is small children singing in an obnoxious manner about candy canes and snow. There are also only ten songs that are well known and each song has about a million and one spin offs. In my humble opinion, this is what leads to the excess alcohol sales during the season. I mean really, they were all made during the 40’s, no one rides in sleighs anymore, and children shouldn’t be so perky about Mom cheating with Santa. Also Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is a weird film. I saw it for the first time this year and I have so many questions. Why is the elf a dentist? Why does the lion have a crown and WINGS?! And why do they hire the scary yeti to put a light on the Christmas tree? They are paying a Yeti year round to do a job that is easily done with a ladder and only takes 2 seconds. Just saying.

Sitting on Santa’s lap. A tradition in my family. This was fine and dandy…. when I was 5. Nowadays sitting on a large strangers lap while he puts his arm around me and asks me if I’ve “been a good girl this year” just seems creepy. I don’t even sit on my boyfriends lap let alone an old man who usually seems much more cheery than he should be. (I sat on a girls lap one time and broke her wrist- ya I know, skill.)

Off to chop down the tree. I have no clue who started this tradition. But in my mind it is one of the most ridiculous. To me, plants… (Wait for it)…….. Should be outside. A new idea, I know! But the fact that everyone gets to be a woodsman I guess is kinda cool. But I still feel the tree should be outside. Santa knows where to put the goods, and I mean if not, what’s the harm? I mean he already puts paper wrapped things, hanging from cotton socks, dangerously close to the fire. Also! I am allergic to trees. VERY ALLERGIC. So having a tree in the house literally makes me sick along with the fact that when I touch the tree I break out in a rash. My dog also usually drinks the tree water that makes her violently ill for most of Christmas week. Aka Barf EVERYWHERE.

This may sound like a rant to you. But I love Christmas. Some of it is just very quirky to me. But I have many things I love. I LOVE giving gifts. I don’t care if I get any I just love giving them. I also love driving in the car with my family eating doughnuts and watching the light decorations. My family also used to cut down our tree and when it was almost cut my brothers and I would lie on the ground and my Dad would yell timber as he dropped our tree on us. I love our Christmas card (it’s a collage of pictures of the years happenings). I love making monkey balls (monkey bread to the rest of the world) and eating the whole thing on Christmas morning. I love singing Happy Birthday to baby Jesus. I love setting up the Raggedy Ann collection with my Mom. And I love the cheer and love that is everywhere.

And even though traditions are weird and I am a scrooge about the seasonal music, I love Christmas and being with my family and everyone I love. So it may be a bit late but, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store? What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more. ~Dr Seuss


Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included


I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. ~Bernard Manning

The word of the day: Mush

I took my first exam today. And tomorrow I have another. But at the moment my brain feels like mush. So I feel like talking about mush and things that are mushy.

1.     Mud in your shoes

2.     Old tomatoes

3.     John Travolta’s abs

4.     Soggy bread

5.     Overcooked veggies

6.     Swamps

7.     Internal organs

8.     Your brain on drugs

9.     Gushers

10. Sappy valentines day poems

Also apparently these things are mushy too:

Now. I have not poked this cat. So it is yet to be determined the capacity of its mushyness.

All I have to say on this one is that I have no clue what the triangle tramp stamp is, BUT his pants are indeed falling down. Come on boyo, I can clearly see belt loops. Lets hike them suckers up a bit higher.

This also came up under mushy. Ummmmm.... something is seriously wrong with this child. Someone needs to be alerted so they can help him. He has a severe form of donkey face.

This is not mushy. Just really disturbing. I think I need to have another post about this body builder epidemic we have in America. It's becoming a serious issue that can no longer be ignored.

THERE WE GO!!!!! MUSHY!!! It's baby food for grown ups!!!

Or those peas are food for this guy. He obviously would eat those peas. But this old man is super cool. I wish my bottom lip covered my whole face. I would pull that one out at parties all the time. "Hey Guys! Look what I can do!" *everyone screams in horror, small children cry*

Ya, I would be a hit.

She looks Amish. He is in serious need of a hairbrush. But they love subway! So all is good. No worries. Still unsure why this came up under mushy.

And there ya have it kids! A post about nothing because my brain is nothing!

P.S. The Scorpian King's music in the movie is way too mushy for an action flick.

Quote to end this:

Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities:  the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates...

"Yes, words are useless! Gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble! Too much of it, darling, too much! That is why I show you my work! That is why you are here!"

Time to nut up or shut up

I don’t know if everyone here is aware but the newest AMC show “The Walking Dead” premiered Halloween night and I, along with my horde of friends, were sitting in our dorms watching wide eyed. This arose a question for me: Why is everyone so unprepared?! Did we not see this coming?! Are there not hundreds of zombie movies and books warning us of the apocalypse?! (My favorite of which is zombiesurvivalwiki.com) I decided that this is an urgent matter that needs discussed immediately so your brains don’t get chewed out.


Now I know that the popular culture is into vampires slash Twilight. But zombies are much better. And just saying, Twilight sucks. Zombies and vampires both have some things in common though so I think a compare and contrast is in order.


-Both want a relationship with humans.
(Vampires want to fall in love and Zombies are in love with your vital organs)
-Both are hungry.
(Vampires want a sip from your neck with the exception of Twilight, and Zombies prefer brain soup)
-Both have a unique fashion sense.
(Vampires have dandruff of glitter and capes, Zombies have various limbs missing and blood stained clothes)
-And lastly both are at the forefront of media today
(Vampires are preteen porn and Zombies are in the adult action slash horror genre)


Now all you vampire people, grow up, get real. Zombies are for adults and more likely to eat you. Vampires just drown you in glitter; you can get the same thing at a strip club. Now, time to talk seriously on how to survive, and facts you may not know about zombies. For this I have consulted my best friend and zombie expert, Logan, who is helping me shed some light on this gruesome topic.


How to spot a zombie:
-Grey slash pale skin
-Wound that doesn’t stop bleeding
-Visual signs of decay
-Smells horrid
-“Empty” eyes
-And lastly the distinct call of “BRAAAIIINNNSSS”
(Also please note: If anyone you know starts biting you or ripping your flesh, this is also a vital indication of the undead. Best to kill them and ask questions later)


Speed of a zombie:
-There are two speeds for zombies (much like those old lawn mowers that have the speed of ‘turtle’ and ‘rabbit’)
+Turtle speed- zombie is traveling at a slow ‘shamble’, in other words if you walk at a normal slash fast pace you can out walk them
+Rabbit speed- zombie is pumped full of adrenaline, aka supa fast! My best tip on this one is to run faster than humanly possible


How to treat the infected:
- Homeopathic remedies
+There are none.
+ But homeopathic means natural, so a natural way to treat infected would be the injuring of the brain via rock, stick, or large mammal.
- There is no cure. Plain. Simple.


How to kill a zombie:
-Destroy the brain or remove the head


What to do if your friend is infected:
- Take no chances, kill them immediately and dispose of the body away from your hideout
- Be sure to cut all emotional ties beforehand so that this is not a painful process
FOR EXAMPLE: 
If my one of best friends, lets say Zara, becomes a zombie. Even though she means the world to me, I would be forced to view her no longer as my friend but as a creature wanting to eat my raw, bloody flesh (Side note: This would be a very noticeable change in her character because she is a vegan, and eating raw human flesh is usually looked down upon by the vegan community). So I would have to destroy her lovely brain. (I would most likely use a chainsaw because I would want to make her death as epic as possible) 


{If you click on Zara's name you will see her blog and realize what a shame it would be if I would be forced to destroy her very intelligent brain}


What to do if you’re infected:
-Gather useful tools and weapons and give them to other survivors
-Dispatch yourself


Safest spot:
- High ground with land for farming and source of clean water.
-Be sure to have an escape route
(Side note: Logan believes “castles are pretty wicked”. Translation: A castle may be useful for such survival purposes)


Optimal weapons:
-Melee weapons (these are the most efficient due to the fact that they will not run out of ammo) *take precautions- zombie splatter could infect you*
+Katana- most efficient killing tool
+Shaolin Spade- Pole arm works as weapon and shovel
+Crowbar- heavy and blunt, good for brain smashing, also efficient for opening stuff
+Other blunt objects such as bats, guitars, croquet sticks are also useful
-Firearms (Accuracy > Rate of fire)
+Bolt-action and semi-automatic are ideal
+ High caliber machine guns are also handy on the occasional killing spree


Also watching the movie Zombieland may give you some more helpful rules of survival. 


Now, I hope everyone is educated enough to now defend themselves against a zombie uprising. And with that I leave you with this:


Little Rock: [playing Monopoly] Oh, free parking.
Wichita: Which, coincidentally, is the best thing about Zombieland.
Columbus: No, the best thing about Z-land, no Facebook status updates. You know, "Rob Curtis is gearing up for Friday." Who cares?
Tallahassee: The best thing is no more flushing. Epic.